Blog 3: Sacraments

I definitely think that a sacrament can heal the pornification of love. I think that by the definition of love from Marion and Ratzinger love is something that can heal all wounds. An example that I can think of that exemplifies this is the effects of hookup culture on future partners. If a person who was involved with hookup culture is eventually looking to settle down their past experience with love could have a negative effect on their future relationships.

The type of relationships that many people at my age could be referred to as a serial hookup and can create false perceptions of love within a person. True love requires a lot more consciousness and awareness than the type that college students are used to. The sacrament of marriage is still such a far away event for many of us that I think this pornification can be healed in time. Those of us who fall into the “ring by spring” category are most likely not experiencing the hookup culture that exists on campus and therefore requires less healing.

Marion’s comments on the “autism of love” definitely stood out to me in his argument. The fact that we love to see ourselves in other people’s lives is definitely true. I think that this concept can even cause a new type of destruction of love because people commonly confuse this with genuine love. It is very common for people to believe that they have fallen in love with someone only to find out that they fell in love with the idea of being in love. I think this can be solved with multiple romantic experiences. As people move through life they will eventually find it easier to differentiate between the autism of love and real love.

Another thing that stuck out to me was the concept of the gaze. The sacrament of marriage requires a couple to maintain eye contact for a long period of time which could be a good example of this gaze. The idea that romantic relationships now are fueled by sacraments was also interesting. The fact that giving someone a dozen roses has a fueled meaning that would be lost if they were referred to as 12 red flowers.




  1. It’s interesting that you mentioned that hook-up culture might in fact have long term effects on the people who engage in it. I remember reading a statistic in Freitas, or maybe hearing it in class, that really highlighted the long term effects in terms of ending up in happy marriages. If you remember where that statistic came from, let me know. On a happier note, I also like the idea that sacramental acts are a way of conveying love in relationships. I think that most intentional acts in relationships have some sacramental character, even if its something as simple as holding hands while walking.


  2. Sierra,
    I think that I would agree with your view that the sacrament of marriage can help to heal the wounds that have been caused by the hookup culture. I would, however, contest the statement that the “ring by spring” group requires less healing. I think that the idea of “ring by spring” philosophy is damaging in its own way because it makes something that should be about emotion and feeling more about something that needs to be overcome. if you can parallel this to the idea that virginity is something that needs to be overcome, there is a lot of harm that can be done by encouraging young girls to “find a man”. People fall into semi-romantic relationships just for the purpose of having a relationship. I would argue that the happiness is just as false as the happiness that comes from hooking up.


  3. You mention that the definition of love from Marion and Ratzinger that “love is something that can heal all wounds;” however you never really find that definition. I would love you to expand on how Marion and Ratzinger truly define love and how that can heal love. I agree with your comment completely but would like more analysis and evidence regarding it in relation to Marion and Ratzinger’s specific arguments. One of the most pertinent parts of your argument, in my opinion, was your analysis of the “gaze.” You really pinpoint the importance of the gaze for breaking the hook-up culture and how the sacraments may fuel that. Your analysis of the long-term effects of the hook-up culture is also very unique and the role real love and sacraments may play in that as the “healing” medium.


  4. Sierra,
    I certainly agree with many of your arguments and especially like your connection of the pornification of love to the serial hookups that are so prominent throughout campus. They often foster an emotion that is the complete antithesis of consciousness: disregard. How can one begin to understand the sacrament of marriage when he or she is disregarding the person he or she is hooking up with in, say, the dining hall? The pornification of love promotes this type of culture, for it tells us that it is all about us; it encourages the autism of love. In order to break through this attitude and truly “gaze” at one another, we must accept marriage as a sacrament. I also believe that a sacrament can heal this kind of damage, because it forces us to give up ourselves in an offering of the total gift to a significant other.


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