I found Frietas’ writing to be very relatable and intriguing. Hearing what the culture that I live in looks like from the outside really made me realize how “hookup culture” has negatively affected gender relations.
Something that stuck out to me in the reading was Frietas’ comment on the vague aspects of the term hookup. Especially at Notre Dame, hooking up could be such a wide range of things and I never thought about why we purposefully use such an undefinable term. Frietas’ argued that we do it in a way to imply that either more or less happened than what actually did.
I had never realized that the phrase “walk of shame” was such a derogatory term until our class discussion. If the whole purpose of our hookup culture is sexual liberation then why is the act of walking home the next day shameful for women? The way that men dress for parties in nearly the same clothing they wear to class while women wear significantly less. It definitely draws a lot more attention if a woman is walking down south quad in her going out clothes than it does for men. I have definitely used this term jokingly to describe but I will definitely think of the term differently now.
I am glad that Frietas’ chose to draw attention to the rise of sexual assault on campus due to the increasing number of college hookups that happen. With alcohol as the major ingredient for most campus hookups, it means that the majority of sexual contact that happens at these parties could be classified as assault. It is devastating that all of us are contributing to these rising statistics and I would hope that these numbers can slow down eventually.
I had the opportunity to read past the conclusion of the book and noticed an interesting note in the appendix. Frietas’ writes a note to parents hoping to help their children to foster a better future on college campuses. Some of the things on the list included telling the story of how they met, telling their children about past romances they had, discussing with them while applying to colleges how they hope to find meaningful relationships there and more. Something I would add to this list is teaching kids to understand the importance of consent to both boys and girls. These are things I would hope to do as a parent because I think they would protect my children from instances of assault due to hookup culture as well as helping them find the relationships that they deserve.